Tomorrow, I will head to the airport and board a plan to begin my second Camino – a pilgrimage on the Camino Frances walking from Ponferrada to Santiago de Compostela, Spain. This time, I’ll be leading a group of six others, providing a listening ear and spiritual direction as we walk, as well as coordinating and caring for logistics. I’m excited and just a tinge antsy as I take care of last minute preparations.

I have loved traveling since I was 16 and got bitten by the travel bug. I don’t, however, like packing. It’s strange – I will prepare for weeks, making lists, shopping as needed, and slowly assembling a pile on the bedroom floor of things that will need to find their way into a suitcase, backpack, or duffel bag. And it doesn’t seem to matter if I’m going away on a weekend retreat or studying abroad for a year (maybe part of this packing panic comes from when I studied in Germany and the airline lost my suitcases I needed for the year for three days…!).

However, packing is only a fraction of trip preparation. There is both outer and inner preparation. The outer might consist of deciding where to go and with whom, purchasing plane tickets, making reservations for accommodations, renting a car or booking buses, trains, or taxis, planning an itinerary full of interesting sites or experiences and delicious restaurants, etc. The inner preparation might include pondering the motivation for the trip, what you hope to get out of it, or, as in the case of a pilgrimage, asking spiritual questions.

I’m noticing this time around that the questions bubbling up are plentiful and a bit overwhelming! I’m also noticing how they reflect larger themes that become more acute when you’re leaving what is familiar and heading into a new or different place:

• Have I done enough?
• What if I’m bringing the wrong things or the wrong amounts?
• What if I forgot something important?
• Do I have everything I need?
• What if I’m not prepared for the unexpected?
• What if I don’t like it?
• What if something terrible happens?
• Will I meet people I get along with?
• What if I fail (at traveling, or, particularly for this pilgrimage, in walking the distances needed)?
• Will God show up?

Every single one of these could be adapted for regular life reflecting worries about identity, worth, capabilities, decision-making, community, our giftedness for the task at hand, and our connection to God, ourselves, and others.

Oof.

No wonder I don’t like packing!

But as I sat down to write these words (read: procrastinated from packing), I’m actually finding that I feel better. Writing all of this out has made me recall what I learned on my last Camino in 2022:

• Don’t pack your fears – travel lightly.
• Expect the unexpected.
• Be flexible and adapt as needed with a sense of humor.
• Delight in the surprises that will meet you!
• New friends are everywhere you go.
• God will show up in surprising and unexpected ways, often in the little things.
• You have done enough – now let go.
• You will have what you need – whether you brought it, bought it, or it was provided for you.
• You are enough.
• You are loved. And so is everybody else.

I feel better now. Not quite ready, but full of anticipation and excitement to hit the road again!

That was a lot to unpack…!

© Annabelle P. Markey